I know I've said this before but just to reiterate, I never, never, ever thought we'd let our babies sleep in our bed (aside from the occasional bad dream or sick kid situation). So, how did we get ourselves into this little situation in the first place? It started early and didn't take long to make it a habit...
When Ellie was first born, she slept in her rock n play right next to our bed (for what little time she did sleep). That lasted all of maybe three weeks. I'm not sure if she was just so used to being held during the day while she napped or what, but she just kind of stopped sleeping in her little bed at that point - like, completely all set with it. Clearly, she hated it and when I'd lay her in there to sleep, she'd pretty much immediately wake up and we'd start from square one. Well, square one involved nursing Ellie to sleep for the five hundreth time each day. Running on an average of 3 hours of sleep total a day, I started falling asleep sitting up in bed holding Ellie. After a few minor heartattacks due to waking up either still holding Ellie in some distorted position, or having no recollection of putting her back in her bed, I started laying her in our bed to fall asleep instead of holding her. And she slept. Not great, but not bad for a newborn, and it felt a million times better than spending hours straight just trying to get Ellie to calm the eff down.
That's basically the story of how this whole thing came to be. Obviously it was super convenient from a nursing perspective - having her so close and literally not having to leave the bed for nightly feedings. Now it's definitely nice to cuddle all night long, especially when I don't get to see her during the day. Plus, she still wakes up during the night randomly and will usually go right back down if I get her pacifier back in her mouth immediately if not sooner. Except for last night when she was up ready to party for about an hour around 2 am.
Do I worry about Ellie sleeping with blankets (because yes, I know she's "not supposed to")? Yes. And I totally think she's going to notice when she's in her crib at night without them. My first reaction when I wake up at any point is always to check on her. Do I worry we'll roll on her and crush her little baby body parts? A little, although thinking back on having a teeny 7 lb Ellie sleeping in our bed scares me much more than it does now. I think Tyler and I have kind of developed a sixth sense about her being there. The cats worry us more than we worry about ourselves. Does she ever sleep in her crib during the day? Only for my mother-in-law, only on her belly (side note: she started sleeping on her belly right around the time she moved into our bed). Is it annoying to not be able to have alone time in the bedroom? Uh yep, kind of. Is it crowded and uncomfortable? Crowded, all the time (three humans, three cats). Uncomfortable, depends on how much Ellie wants to sprawl out. Do I get annoyed by the fists to the eye socket, claws to the face, and kicks to the stomach, randomly throughout the night? You bet.
Overall, I'd say cosleeping has worked out well for us because it allowed me to get more sleep in the beginning when I really truly needed it. While I don't have immediate plans to move her into her crib all the way in her own room, I do want to try it soon-ish. It's one of those things that I don't think twice about on a daily basis and then when I do think about it, I think we really should move her but why am I going to ruin a good thing? She's actually slept through the night a few times recently - who wants to deal with a crying baby all night if they don't have to? I guess only time will tell, and in the meantime, Ellie's snuggled up in bed next to me while I type this, with her arm across my face. :)
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