Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Working Mom Life

Something I don't talk about much, other than maybe complaining that I have to go at all, is my life as a working mom.  While I certainly have my own preference, I don't think there is really a "best" situation (SAHM, working mom, a mix of both) - so even though I would prefer to stay home, I am definitely not knocking any full time working mamas out there!

That being said, if it were financially feasible, I would 100% be a SAHM.  For those of you who don't know, I work as an auditor at a CPA firm. Without getting into details, there is a pretty significant difference between me working and not, and we would have to make some significant life changes to make me staying at home work.  And believe me, there are certainly days when I seriously consider selling one of our cars, canceling cable, getting rid of my beloved cell phone, and (the obvious) quitting my Baby Gap shopping so that we could maybe make it work. Then there are others when I think maybe I should just keep sucking it up.  Because it is only three days a week, we have some pretty great sitters, and it's probably good for both of us to spend a little time apart.  Plus, I really do like my cell phone...

I've been back at work since the last week in July, after thirteen glorious weeks of maternity leave.  So, just over six months now, which on one hand I have trouble believing it's been six months, and the on the other hand it feels like it's been an eternity.  Truth be told, I honestly don't think it's gotten any easier to be back at work. In fact, it might actually be harder as Ellie grows because she's sweeter, more curious, and definitely more fun every day.  There are many texts and emails to Tyler throughout the day telling him I miss Ellie (in case he forgot since I last texted him an hour prior), and lots of just plain thinking about my girl - what's she doing now?  Does she notice that I'm gone?  Where does she think I went?  Does she miss me? Did I pay enough attention to her when we were together?  Did she have fun with me?  Does she have more fun without me?  Am I going to miss one of her "firsts"?  I feel like someone else gets to do the job I'm supposed to be doing.  The job I was meant to do. I live for the days of Mickey Mouse on repeat, bananas smeared in both of our hair, chasing a naked baby around the house because she won't sit still for a thirty second diaper change, and even the crying + whining.  It's my happy place, for sure, and I love (love, love, love) getting to spend extended weekends at home with my girlfriend.

Every work day I rush to get home thing to get to see Ellie before she falls asleep.  Tyler keeps her cranky bum awake for me pretty frequently even though I'm sure she would rather be sleeping, even if it's just so I can spend ten minutes with her before I start her bedtime routine.  Knowing that I'll get to see her smile when I walk through the front door keeps me going throughout the day, so I'm sure I'd lose it if she were already in bed when I got home.  Putting her to bed every night is my thing, and the cuddles at the end of the day is something I look forward to all day long.

While I hate to complain because I know we have it pretty good over here, it's definitely not my idea of an ideal situation, and it's definitely not easy.  But, I'm thankful I only have to work three days a week right now and I'm hoping one day I'll get to stay home every day (you know, before our babies are twenty years old).  Almost all of the mamas I know stay at home (or maybe it just feels that way), so if you're a working mama I'd love to hear from you!

Also, bless my dear husband's heart who has to listen to me talk about this all the time. "Patient" is not typically a word I use to describe him, but in this case I would say patient is an understatement.  This girl is just the sweetest thing in the world, and clearly I just can't get enough! I mean, who wouldn't want to stay home with her every day?! :)

6 comments:

  1. You are not alone! I am a CPA as well and work five days a week. My baby girl is almost 18 months old and it has not gotten any easier. I wish every day I could stay home with her. But at the same time it makes our time together SO much more special. Having her smile and run for me when I pick her up at the end of the day is absolutely priceless.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad to know I'm not alone! Some days are harder than others for whatever reason, but it's never easy. I like your outlook on it! You're definitely right, the time at home with her is the best. :)

      Delete
  2. I just started writing a blog similar to this about "working mom thoughts" IT IS SO HARD. I never thought I would ever want to be a SAHM, but man do little smiles change you. We're in a very similar situation financially. And just recently I've had SO many encouraging thoughts about how Lola will LOVE the 2 days she goes to day care and make memories and friends forever. I'm wondering when it gets easier FOR ME though. I sort of set a plan in place to give myself until Lola's first birthday to decide how I REALLY feel about it all. Hang in there mama!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! Again, it's nice to know I'm not alone. I was definitely hoping it'd be easier by now, but like I said it seems to be getting worse the more aware she is of the fact that I'm leaving. But it's the sweetest thing to walk through the door at the end of the day and see her light up. And I totally agree - Ellie is FINE, it's me who's going crazy haha.

      Delete
  3. Being a working mom is SO hard. I'm really lucky that I had a full year maternity leave (I'm Canadian), so I went back to work full time the Monday after my little girl's birthday. It has been a crazy transition but I've found it has gotten so much easier over time. It helps me cherish our moments even more, knowing that I only have her for a few hours each day. On the bright side, I know she LOVES daycare and it helps her build her independence and social skills. You're doing great mama and it just makes your moment with Ellie even more special :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm a little jealous that you got a whole year of leave but am sure it would have made it even harder to go back! I'm happy to hear your baby girl is adapting well to daycare; it's definitely reassuring for me. Thank you so much for your sweet comments!

      Delete